I've been exhausted all day. I was glad that Nancy came about noon (as I was finally coming to the end of a couple of hours of coughing, which was wearing me out), and, as usual, we talked about all kinds of things. I told her that in some ways I feel ready to die, while in others I still have unfinished business. It seems like I'm going to be around for awhile, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm hoping that when Florence gets here, and with the weather getting nicer, we'll get out some and maybe I can regain a little enthusiasm. Right now I can't work up much interest in anything.
There will be a lot of people here tomorrow. Ann is coming in the morning, then Kathy will be here (with the Reiki practitioner), and then in the mid-afternoon Susan. Maybe we can tackle some of the stuff that's been piling up here. There's laundry that needs to be done, and getting the office/guest room ready. Julie is suggesting that Florence sleep upstairs in Evelyn's room (and Ev will sleep down here), so we'll have to sort that out.
It's a little after nine, Marty is out (he said he'd be back around ten), and maybe I should just go to sleep. I'm bored, I'm tired, I'm frustrated. I'm not sure how I'm going to get out of this emotional slump.
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This is the hardest part. It is between the time when you stop caring as you are too tired to care and when you are still too awake and aware too fail to notice how bored and frustrated you are. This is where you need to rethink again about what you can do from your bed that involves your mind MORE than your body. You can download the meditation tapes into your computer and I will see what else I can find online to help keep your mind engaged in the life you are living now.
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