Sunday, April 26, 2009

So weak, so tired

Last evening, Marty was searching available TV programs and found the movie "Funny Girl," which has powerful associations for him. He was living in Jerusalem when it came out and said that he and his first wife saw it many, many times. It made him feel quite emotional, and it felt good to be watching it with him and comforting him, as he has done so much to comfort me. I had been having a really miserable day, and at about nine thirty I just drifted off to sleep, holding his hand as he watched the end of the movie.

When I woke up a little after seven I thought he was still sleeping, but after awhile to my surprise he walked in from the dining room, saying he'd been up for a few hours and hadn't slept well. He asked if I felt up to going out for breakfast, but I just didn't have the energy, so he made me some cinnamon raisin toast and tea before going off to a meeting. I've been alone for a few hours and I don't like it. He just called and said he's on his way home.

Florence called after Marty left and I got really tearful. She was so supportive and sympathetic, saying that she admired how well I'd been handling myself and that I should just let go and let myself cry if that's what I felt like doing. She said she wished she could be here with me, and of course I wish she could too. I apologized for dumping on her, and she said that I shouldn't feel that way, that I was entitled to feel upset and angry and all the other things I've been feeling.

The weather has suddenly gotten unseasonably hot--like mid-summer instead of spring--but I think it will go back to more normal temperatures by tomorrow. I've got the door to the porch open and the ceiling fan going but maybe I need the air conditioner instead.

Ann is going to be busy all of next week so I'm not sure how we're going to manage. I really do have to find at least one more PCA.

1 comment:

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