Tired and bored

I feel better today than yesterday--at least I didn't wake up with a sore throat, a headache, and a toothache, as I have for the past two days, although this evening my throat feels sore again. I've been napping on and off a lot of the day, as I didn't get a good night's sleep. I've been alone a lot of the day, which was all right as I had enough energy to cook breakfast, and eventually give Oliver his medicine and feed both cats. I was also able to do all of the Saturday puzzle, and I've gone back to Friday's and filled in a bit more.

Marty was gone a lot of the day, as he needed to help Donna move some stuff out of a storage unit. I was supposed to have some visitors this afternoon, Kathy and Joe who are local psychiatric survivor activists, but Joe called this morning to say that Kathy was sick, so they put off visiting till next weekend. I didn't mind as I slept a lot of the day. Marty got here around four, but he's exhausted and has mostly been sleeping since he got here. Once he's awake I guess we'll do the puzzle, and figure out what to have for dinner. For lunch I had more of my potato casserole, which I've been eating for lunch all week, and really enjoying. I've improved it by adding vegetables--broccoli for a couple of days, and today green beans. I need to think of something else to cook in quantity that I can eat for days on end--something else that's comfort food and reheats well.

I am just so tired of this. Getting weaker in such tiny increments is frustrating. I guess it's just going to go on this way for months. I need to find ways to distract myself--there's so little to watch on TV, and I can't seem to read much beyond the newspapers and the New Yorker. Maybe I should go to the library and see if I can find something interesting. I usually just peruse the non-fiction new books and take out anything that piques my curiosity. I've actually found a few books that really engaged me, although I've ended up taking a lot of them back unread or partially read. A couple of months ago I found a fascinating biography of Anna Leonowens, the woman made famous by The King and I, whose actual story is not what she presented to the world. She went to great lengths to conceal the facts during her lifetime, because she was not an upper-class Englishwoman, and in a class-based society she needed to claim that status. The book is called Bombay Anna, and I've been recommending it to lots of people. Another book I really enjoyed, My Father's Paradise, is about a community of Jews in Kurdistan that was so isolated they still spoke Aramaic! Florence is reading it now. It would be good if I could find another book to engage me the way these two did.

Tomorrow my friend Celia is visiting from New York, and a little while ago my friend Sally, from Berkeley, called to say she will be visiting the weekend of March 14th-15th. I've got to work on having more people visit, as company always cheers me up. I had an e-mail from Susan the other day that said she'd be coming one day soon--she's been one of my most regular visitors. And I've asked my friend Dorothy if she could come once a week for a few hours, and she's working out with Marty some times when she could be here that he's busy. Celeste, the hospice social worker, thinks I should have someone here as much as possible. I told her I don't mind being alone, but she doesn't think that's such a good idea. Nancy, the chaplain, said she would stop by one day next week.

Julie was going to help me with some paperwork today, but instead she had to take Vivian, my youngest granddaughter, who is seven, to the doctor because she was having a severe asthma attack, and it ended up that she got taken to the hospital and has now been admitted, at least for overnight, so Julie will be staying with her there. Julie sounds pretty calm about it, and she said Viv is dealing with it very well. Apparently Winchester Hospital is very kid-friendly; Julie said when they had to take Viv to X-ray, instead of taking her on a stretcher, they had a little wagon!

Marty is awake now, and we need to figure out what to do for dinner. Maybe I should try to get dressed and go out, although it seems like a lot of effort. But it would probably improve my mood.