I have much more energy today, comparatively speaking, of course. After going to sleep so late, and then being up in the middle of the night, I slept most of the morning. Eventually I got up and made some tea, and then was able to tackle a big mess that had accumulated in the kitchen (a lot of spoiled food that needed to be thrown out), which gave me a feeling of accomplishment.
The hospice nurse, who told me yesterday that she would stop by about nine called instead (waking me) and I told her I was feeling better, so she said she would call later to check in (I was able to get back to sleep after that). She called back a few hours later and said that it sounded like I didn't need a visit, but I should call if I needed anything. I'm coughing a lot less today and in general feel very different from the way I have the past two days.
Tomorrow is acupuncture, which I'm looking forward to. If I'm feeling strong enough, we usually combine that with going out to lunch. Doing simple things has taken on increasing significance as my life narrows down--just getting out of the house is an adventure these days. There's supposed to be a combination of rain and snow this evening, which I hope will be mostly rain, as snow creates additional difficulties.
My mood, of course, has lifted as I've started to feel better. When I feel too weak to get out of bed, dying doesn't seem like that bad of an idea, but when I'm feeling stronger I'm much more focused on living.
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Your strength is reflected in your writing. Having the computer convenient to your bed helps, too.
ReplyDeleteAsk your hospice nurse to come out if you need her/him. When you were on the phone calling them it sounds as those you needed some reassurance. Nurses want to help but sometimes don't want to intrude. It sounds like you could have used the comfort. Glad you are writing so much. It helps channel a lot of stuff, doesn't it?