Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Frustrated and angry

Now it's me who couldn't sleep through the night--I've been up for a couple of hours and it's only seven o'clock. I've been playing around on the computer (Julie lent me hers while Jim is trying to make my antique computer run a little faster) and reading e-mail. I'm very hungry and I was trying not to wake Marty, and I know it's too much for me to make myself some breakfast--I would just exhaust myself, which leads to these feelings of frustration and anger. It is ridiculous to be this weak! I realize my world has narrowed more and more--there are days I never get as far as the kitchen.

And yet we are talking about this trip to New York as if it is a realistic possibility. I know if we do it we will make wonderful memories. I'm sure it will be my last trip. We need to work out the logistics carefully, and even so, I could end up getting overtired and not being able to do some of the things we planned. The two absolutes are "Guys and Dolls" and New York cheesecake!

Some things we need to look into are the costs of hiring a car service vs. driving (and paying for parking), the cost and availability of the theater tickets, and hotel rooms. I'd do Priceline for the hotel, which I've always been very successful at, and I'm sure I could get a good deal. We'd take the scooter, I assume, and of course all my oxygen paraphernalia. One thing we need to do is test out the new oxygen concentrator, which is a totally different model from the one we've had such bad luck with. The oxygen guy explained it to Marty but I'm sure we won't really understand it till we take it for a test drive, so to speak.

Marty is up now so I guess I'm going to get my breakfast soon. I feel a bit guilty about waking him but at least I waited till after seven. I didn't mean to wake him but when I was trying to switch over from the bi-pap to the nasal cannula I got the tubing all tangled and got a little panicky, started cursing, and had to turn on the light to get everything figured out.

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