Yesterday was such a good day, but I may have done too much. In the morning, Julie, Marty and I met with the guy from the funeral service, who explained pre-paid cremation and didn't try to sell us any extras or do anything that seemed sleazy, so we decided to sign a contract with him and I wrote a check. My dad had done something similar, and I remember that when he died Julie and I just had to make one phone call and within a few hours two men arrived to remove the body, and some weeks later we got back a box with his ashes, and I want it to be that simple for Julie and Marty.
Then my volunteer, Caren, came and we decided to sit out on the porch. It was lovely, just slightly chilly, so I put my little blanket over my legs. We had a nice talk--I just feel very comfortable with her, and look forward to her coming back next week.
Anne came at two to give me acupuncture. I was still feeling some soreness in my side, so I really needed to feel relaxed and at ease, and, as usual, acupuncture left me feeling very calm and I drifted off to sleep for a short while after she left. When Bob arrived I decided to sit outside again; this time it was warmer, and I didn't need the blanket. Bob and I talked about changes in the mental health system, the role of ex-patient groups, the power of the drug companies, and lots of other things. His new book will be about how, despite claims that drugs are helping people to function better, more people than ever are on the SSI/SSDI rolls because of mental illness. Bob is the rare journalist who has looked beyond the press releases of the drug companies and the psychiatric profession; his book, Mad in America, is one of the most important books in the field, and I'm looking forward to the new one (http://www.madinamerica.com/).
Bob went out to get some Chinese food, and then he, Marty, and I sat in the dining room and ate and talked. By this time I was feeling quite tired, and after eating a bit I told them I needed to go to bed, and in fact fell asleep quite quickly. I asked Marty today how long Bob stayed and he said "hours," so I guess they had a good talk.
I had a strange night's sleep, coming half awake a number of times, feeling a lot of pressure in my chest, so I woke up feeling tired and I've been tired all day. Barbara, who is a physical therapist with hospice, came in the mid-morning and did what she called "energy work," placing her hands on different parts of my body and creating different feelings, like warmth, relaxation, and tingling. I told her that I usually had massage on Thursday (Lisa sent me an e-mail that she couldn't come this week), so Mondays or Tuesdays would be better days, and she said Mondays would work for her, so now it will be Mondays with Barbara, acupuncture on Wednesdays, and massage on Thursdays. I was lying on the daybed in the office while she did this, and when she left I went back to my bed and almost immediately fell asleep.
We had been expecting Laurel and when she didn't arrive I called her and found she was stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire waiting for AAA; it turned out she had to wait for two hours. She said she had gotten another flat the day before, while she was trying to deliver all the clothes she and Julie had sorted, and they had put a plug in it which clearly didn't hold.
Marty had plans to be out in the evening, so I called Judy, who said she could stay for a few hours; it's after six now; Marty left a little while ago and Judy just arrived. I told her I'd like her to stick around to give me dinner, but I had so much leftover Chinese food for lunch that I'm not sure if I'm going to be hungry for dinner.
The weather is totally different from yesterday--it's grey and rainy and a little on the chilly side, and supposed to be that way most of the weekend, so I guess we're not going to ride the carousel at Nantasket ( http://www.paragoncarousel.com/) this weekend, but as soon as there's a nice day and I'm feeling up to going out, that's definitely something we want to do.