Friday night I had one of those anxiety attacks where I was just afraid to go to sleep, and ended up not even trying to sleep until about five A.M. So since then I've been doing lots of napping to make up for the missing sleep. I also feel much calmer, so I guess discharging all those negative feelings was a good thing.
I surprised Marty this morning by asking him if he wanted to go out for breakfast. He always thinks it's a good idea to get me out, even though it makes me tired. We went to the Arlington Diner, where I always order the same breakfast--a veggie omelet with cheddar cheese. It comes with those yummy greasy diner home fries, and I got a side order of sausages. Last time we were there I took home half an omelet in the hope it would reheat successfully, and we discovered that it did, so tomorrow's breakfast is in the fridge.
I slept through the night last night and have already taken two naps today. Marty went to help Donna with some things so he arranged for Judy to stay with me, as I am definitely getting too weak to be left alone for very long. When she arrived I was sleeping, and when I woke up we talked for awhile and I read the newspaper and then took another nap. I talked with Marty a little while ago and he is heading home soon.
I can definitely feel myself getting weaker--even a trip to the bathroom feels like an excursion. This morning when I got up I took the bi-pap mask off and somehow forgot to put on the nasal cannula, so when I got back to bed I was really gasping more than usual, and it took a minute or so to realize why. Once I got some oxygen on I was able to catch my breath, but I felt pretty stupid for forgetting.
When Katrina, the new social worker, was here the other day we talked with her about this idea we have about taking a trip to New York, and she was very supportive and said she could help with logistics. We have wanted to go see "Guys and Dolls" since a revival opened on Broadway. I know it would be an exhausting trip but there are ways of minimizing the stress. We could stay in a hotel for two nights, and go see the show the second night, so the first day would be just for resting. Then we could stay till check-out time so I'd have more time to rest before the car ride. Marty suggested that I could put the seat back and sleep as much as possible while he drove. I go back and forth about whether I'm really up to doing this, but it certainly would be memorable and exciting. The other thing we really want is some authentic New York cheesecake! When Katrina comes next week I think we'll discuss it further. As I get weaker, it becomes less likely that I'll be able to do these things, so if it doesn't happen soon it won't happen at all.