I woke up pretty early this morning, feeling stronger than I have in awhile, although I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep. It was the first time in probably more than a week that I got up and made my own breakfast. It feels good to be able to do things for myself when I can, but at least I'm getting better about recognizing when I need to ask for help. So I made the usual these days--tea and cinnamon raisin toast, with lots of butter. Marty was awake but was still in bed when Ted called to say he had taken the subway to Harvard Square and had found someplace to get some breakfast, and Marty said he would go to pick him up (otherwise Ted said he'd somehow figure out where to get the right bus).
Marty and I stayed up pretty late last night--we were both in odd moods and just didn't feel like going to sleep. Finally I said I was going to try to sleep, and after a bit he set the TV timer (he likes to go to sleep with the TV on) and turned out the light. I wasn't asleep for very long when I had one of my nightmares--a very realistic dream that we were lying in bed and the blanket was on fire (smoldering, like a cigarette had been dropped on it, although neither of us smoke). In the dream, he was trying to put it out by stamping on it, and I said I'd better go get some water before it burst into flames. I had the feeling that it was too late--very scary, and then I woke up. I was glad that Marty was there to reassure me that it was just a dream and everything was OK.
It was great to see Ted (I'm not sure how long it's been), and good to see that he and Marty were comfortable with each other. Lisa came to give me my massage, and since Ted was feeling exhausted after an overnight flight he went to take a nap in my guest room/office. Lisa hasn't been here for a few weeks, and I asked her to work on my head and neck even though I am not having the intense headaches I had been. She spent a lot of time gently stretching my neck, massaging my shoulders, and making my chest feel more open. As always, it was extremely relaxing. For music, instead of the Bach CD we've been using, we put on a CD of harp music that my friend Myra Kovary recorded, which was really beautiful and conducive to a mood of calmness and peace. Myra's music is available on http://www.myrakovary.com/
Kathy called, and I was glad to tell her how much better I was feeling. She encouraged me to get out of bed as much as I could, because she thinks it helps to loosen some of the gunk in my chest. On days like today, when I can spend short periods out of bed, it feels good, and I've become good at recognizing when I've used up my reserves and need to go lie down.
Marty, Ted, and I are planning to go out for dinner, which probably means I'll be tired tomorrow, but I know we'll have fun, and fun is important.