Another step down?

I had another coughing spell about six this morning--this time I took cough medicine early enough that it stopped after about ten or fifteen minutes. Marty stayed here again last night--I'm glad not to be alone when bad things happen. I called hospice at about eight and the nurse on call said she would call Kathy, who called me back about an hour later and said she'd come by earlier than she usually does. She wants me to stay on a routine of cough medicine every four hours, whether I'm coughing or not, and then slowly taper back from there. The on-call nurse had asked me if I thought I needed to go to the emergency room, which surprised me (of course I said no); Kathy said that the only reasons that hospice would send a patient to the ER would be for things like falls, uncontrolled bleeding and the like, and she agreed with me that I certainly did not need to go to the ER.

I'm feeling very weak and tired and my head is aching. I'll probably nap at some point. I've also got my new hospice volunteer coming this afternoon. Ann was here this morning for a few hours--she put fresh sheets on the bed, which always feels good, and I changed into a clean nightgown, although I didn't have the energy for a shower. I suppose at some point I'm going to need sponge baths, but I'm not ready to take that step into invalidism yet.

I got a sudden craving this morning for cinnamon raisin toast, dripping with butter, so I called Ann before she came and asked her to stop in the supermarket and see if there was a whole wheat version, which there was, and I wolfed down four slices, with a big mug of tea. My food tastes are tending more and more toward what I refer to as "baby food"--things that are soft or creamy or otherwise just easy to eat. I ate the last of the potato casserole yesterday and enjoyed it every time. I'm eating lots of jello because it feels so good on my throat, and maybe later Marty and I can make some pea soup, which we both love and which is easy to make.

I feel so weak and just want to stay in bed.