Some very tired days

Although I didn't feel abnormally tired in the early part of the week (when I was expecting to, after the trip), the last few days I've been feeling really exhausted. I seem to have lost a day, as I find it hard to believe it's Saturday already. I just haven't done much of anything.

There is a big change about to happen, as Julie told me the other day that she and Jim decided they need more space and are moving to a larger apartment nearby. She said that she would take care of advertising the apartment and doing the initial interviewing, although of course I would make the final decision. Arlington is considered a desirable place to live, so I feel confident that it won't take long to find a tenant. Oddly, I was thinking a few days ago that it must be difficult to have just one bathroom for five people, and then a few hours later she told me about moving!

I never had the energy to try taking a shower while we were away (there was some sort of fold-away built in seat in the tub in the hotel), but on Monday I was feeling strong enough, so Nancie gave me a wonderful shower. Then when she was here on Wednesday I told her I was feeling itchy all over (I had waked up several times during the night because of it), so she rubbed lotion all over my body, remarking on how dry my skin looked. And when she was here yesterday I told her I didn't feel strong enough for a shower, so instead she gave me a lovely sponge bath in bed, and with more lotion and a fresh nightgown, which made me feel great. (This is just one more example of the quality of life issues that are so prominent in hospice care.)

Marty went out to Bed Bath & Beyond the other day and bought some new fluffy pillows, and I tried last night to see if I could sleep better with my head raised a bit higher. I'm not sure if it worked or not, as I woke up several times and turned on my reading light, but each time I found that after a few minutes nothing I was reading was making sense, so I got back to sleep quite quickly, waking for good about eight. But I've been both tired and sleepy all day.

My vital signs monitor is acting oddly. Usually, the voice tells me first to put on the blood pressure cuff, and then the finger sensor, and then to push the start button, but for the last two days it has gone directly from the cuff to pressing the start button, leaving the finger sensor out entirely. I told the nurse who called me after the readings were transmitted about this problem, and she said she was leaving a note for Maureen, so I guess the machine will have to be recalibrated, either remotely or in person. Technology is great--when it works!

As I write, I'm watching the debate in the House on the health care reform bill. It is astonishing how many lies the Republicans are telling about the evils of "government run health care," totally ignoring the ways that insurance companies are the real bureaucrats between doctors and patients, denying care while making enormous profits. Even this bill, if it passes, is so watered down from what it should be that I wonder if it will make enough of a difference.

It would be really nice to go out somewhere this weekend--the weather is mild and the sun is out--but I feel too tired to even think about getting dressed. And with the change to standard time it now gets dark so early, something I always hate and which reminds me that winter is coming. Why isn't it time for me to just check out?