Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The day before the big day

I'm continuing to feel remarkably strong and am hoping it lasts at least through tomorrow. Preparations are moving along and somehow everything is going to come together, although right now it seems that there are about a million loose ends. I'm, as always, out of the loop, sitting in my lounge chair and observing everyone else scurrying around. Marty, as always, has taken on way too much, and with his obsessive insistence on detail, everything seems to take a long time, but I know in the end that it will be done right because he is so careful.

To think that all of this came out of a chance remark of mine a few months ago that it would be nice to hold the funeral before I die rather than after! Now we have people traveling here from all across the country, plus all the people who I know will be there in spirit even though they're not physically present. We have a proclamation from the Governor and something similar from the State Legislature! We have so many people who have worked on some aspect of the event. I can hardly believe that, after all these preparations, tomorrow will actually happen.

Marty and Jim (my son-in-law) are planning to be at the Sherman Union early, to get things set up and (I am sure) make a lot of last minute decisions, make sure videos are cued up properly, etc. I'm going to be taken by Judy and Patti, since I want to conserve my energy and plan to be there shortly before two (the official start time). Julie had the excellent idea that, in addition to the scooter, which I need to get from the car to the ballroom (too far for me to walk), we also take my lounge chair, since sitting for a long time is tiring. It folds flat and is quite light, and I know I'll get less tired reclining.

Nancie was here earlier, so I had a lovely shower and my hair is freshly washed. Julie tried to find someone who could come to my house tomorrow to fix my hair and put on make-up, but, although she got several e-mails back when she posted it on the Arlington e-mail list, nothing worked out, but it's really not a problem. Julie is going to wet my hair and comb it through, and if I put some curling gel on it and crimp it with my fingers as it dries, it should look fine. I haven't put on makeup for months, because I'm not strong enough to stand at the bathroom mirror to apply it, but Julie gave me a small stand-up mirror which I can put on my bedside table, so I can sit and apply my makeup. I'm determined to look nice, even though I have chipmunk cheeks and a ruddy complexion from prednisone.

Patti has been here all afternoon, helping with various crises as they arose (for example, the video Dan Fisher made, which was sitting on top of the TV in my bedroom for weeks, and which all of us--me, Patti, and Marty--could remember him saying a few days ago, "I'm going to put this ---," only none of us could fill in the blank!). Once we found that, Marty was having technical difficulties with David Oaks's video, which had to be downloaded from the Web. One of Marty's friends has been to the printer to pick up the material for the program books, which still have to be put into binders (that will happen later this evening). But I feel confident that everything will come together in the end.

Another big change is that Donna is coming after all! Marty really wants her to help with set-up, and she was able to swap her work schedule with a co-worker so she will be off tomorrow and work on Saturday. Marty just left a few minutes ago to pick her up (and to get the stuff from the printer from his friend, who was too tightly scheduled to bring it here). So many details! With all the work she has done, I'm really happy that she's going to be able to be here on the big day!

If Marty and I can get a good night's sleep it will certainly be helpful. I've been sleeping well the past few nights--the increased dose of amitriptyline seems to have helped, plus I've started taking it a bit later in the evening. Marty has been coming to bed at a reasonable hour most nights, and although his mind has been racing with all the details he's trying to keep track of, he seems to be getting a fair amount of sleep as well.


  1. Hi Judi,
    Hope you had a good time.

  2. Hi Judy. I worked at the Centre for Psych Rehab 89-90 on Aurora's team. I have a whole new life now as a single mom of 2, a writer, a blogger, and a person with MS. My dad passed in March after a week in hospice. I was privileged to be with him at the Hospice Center to say goodbye. I hate and don't always get it when people say this to me but now I get why they say it. I admire the way you are dealing with what life is dealing you. Check out my blog if you want. If not, thanks for giving me my gratitude dose for the day.

  3. Hi,Julie, I'd love to see your blog...please post the url here and I'll take a look.