Just after starting to think that things were going pretty easy--that I wasn't suffering like people with painful conditions and stuff like that, the pretty scary breathing episodes I've been having since yesterday got me really worried that maybe things are going to go much faster than Iwant them to. It's comforting to think I have lots of time--time to enjoy things, and arrange things, and not feel rushed...I don't want to lose that.
Cathy, my nurse, was here earlier, and increased my morphine dosage, which makes me feel more spaced out, but does ease the breathing. I thought I would sleep for awhile this afternoon but first the housecleaners were here and then when I was just drifting off the bell rang and by the time I made it to the front door the postman was just getting back in his truck after leaving a slip for a package pickup. I yelled and waved but he drove away, which means that Marty's going to have to go pick it up. He was here for awhile and should be back later. Julie was here when Cathy was here, and she (Julie) was really venting that Marty needed to be here more (I think she's scared that she's going to get stuck taking on more than she feels able to do). She has no patience for Marty's kosher dietary habits and says that I shouldn't either, which of course I can't do. He doesn't mind what I eat but he just won't eat certain things and that's the way it is.
Julie drove Florence to the train early this morning--it was so great having her here, and she said she'll be back in mid-December. She stopped in to say goodbye and gave me such a loving hug.
While Marty was here the phone rang and we knew it was somewhere in the bed but we couldn't find it even though we could hear it--very frustrating. By the time he finally found it the person had hung up--I just played the message a little while ago and it was Nancy, the chaplain, whom I really want to see again. She said she'd call back later.
When we were out yesterday, Sally Zinman called, and said she might come from California for a visit--that would be wonderful! Also, I've gotten two calls from Judy Turner-Crowson, from London, and she's sending me some books and stuff and says she's thinking of me a lot. I asked her to get in touch with Rachel and Liz for me as I can't seem to find current e-mail addresses for either of them, and she said she would.
I also had a good talk on the phone yesterday with Judy, who seems to have done her crying and we were back to our old laughing and reminiscing mode, which was great.