It's getting harder to figure out what a good day is. I would call yesterday a good day, even though I had to ask for help to make a batch of meatballs, and had to carefully figure out how to do most of the work sitting down. Florence was great--I got a little tearful because I felt so dependent, and she just comforted me in the best possible way. As a result, there are now 17 meatballs in the freezer (full of good healthful stuff), so an easy dinner can be just chopping up a few veggies to doctor up some bottled sauce, boiling water for spaghetti, and defrosting some of the meatballs. Marty was very enthusiastic about the idea of us cooking some beef stew together, which will be fun and will take care of a few more meals.
Of course, after the major exertion of cooking, I had to take a nap. It's pretty amazing how I can just drop off to sleep.
I'm also working on getting things more organized, so the bed doesn't end up piled with stuff--it's a good thing it's a big bed, but some nights I had just a little corner to sleep on! Julie bought me a good size carrying box in which I can keep stuff like the books and newspapers I'm reading, the remote controls, and so forth, and Marty got a bed tray so I can eat more comfortably in bed and I'm probably going to start using the computer on it too--there are some days I just don't feel like sitting up, and I imagine there will be more of them as time goes on.
On Friday, we went out to run some errands--it just feels good to get out, even if it's not doing something special. I took a couple of broken bracelets to the jeweler, and we went to a store to see if we could get some more comfortable kitchen stools (I like them, but Marty says he can't sit in them for very long). But the stuff we saw was wildly expensive (and some of them required an eight-week lead time), so for now we're sticking with what we've got.
My "salon" is slowly getting off the ground. On Thursday, Susan Stefan was here and we had a great visit--she brought wonderful pastries and we discovered a shared passion for lapsang soochong tea, so I brewed a pot of that and served it in beautiful English bone china teacups. My hospice volunteer was supposed to come on Friday, but he called and said he had a cold and would let me know when he was better (probably early next week).
Charlotte was here yesterday, mainly to take Florence back to her house for a few hours, and she was a great example of how not to be a good visitor for a sick person (although I'm sure she meant well)--she just kept asking me about my symptoms, prognosis, and other stuff I really don't want to talk about endlessly. I vented to Florence later, and she pointed out that if that happens again (and it surely will, as so many people don't know what to say), I should just say "I really prefer not to talk about it," and change the conversation to something more interesting.
I'm going to send out some e-mails and make some phone calls to see if I can get some people who said they'd probably stop by to actually come (Dorothy Dundas called the other day but hasn't called back, and I had an e-mail from Debbie at BU saying she'd stop by).
I got a very odd phone message from somebody who got my name from Marianne, wanting me to be on some kind of advisory panel, which indicates that Marianne isn't aware of how sick I am (she definitely was on the list for the big explanatory e-mail), so I'll have to give her a call, and also call this guy and find out if it's something I can actually do. I welcome intellectual stimulation, but I don't want to take on something if I can't follow up.
I should end this now--I need to get dressed because we're all going out to see Evelyn and Kyle in the Morris dancing performance they do every year at the Unitarian Church in Sudbury. Marty was vacillating about coming (he had a conflict with one of his endless meetings), but I think finally decided last night that he was better off doing something for enjoyment.
His foot surgery is scheduled for December 22nd, which is going to be a challenge all around, but we'll get through it somehow. He'll stay here during the few days he needs to be off his feet, and his doctor said he won't be able to drive a stick shift till the wound heals.